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Monday, 19 October 2009

Mas Kahwin (Mahar)

Salam all,

We've been talking much about hantaran lately and my entry today.. it's something for the MEN. I used to wonder mengapa adat kahwin ani ada mas kahwin (well, back in my younger years.. semuanya dipikir adat saja *lol*) I thought untuk hantaran saja rupanya it's part of the wedding, shall i say, 'package'. Masa damit, we don't really bother about this things...yg penting for me enjoy jdi tukang angkat gangsa AND mesti yang chocolate or sweets. The Hensel and Gretle (spelling?) candy house was my favourite hantaran deco. It's not until I realised that everytime Majlis Nikah mesti the groom cakap "..Aku terima nikahnya **** binti **** dengan MAS KAHWINnya $** tunai..." Then I was like, oOoooOooo, andang MESTI rupanya Mas Kahwin ani...

A simpler word, MAHAR. Interesting text below... enjoys~


1. PENGERTIAN MASKAHWIN ( MAHAR ).

Maskahwin adalah pemberian yang wajib diberi oleh suami kepada isterinya dengan sebab perkahwinan.

Firman Allah s.w.t. yang bermaksud :

" Berikanlah kepada orang-orang perempuan itu maskahwin mereka ". ( Surah An-Nisaa' - Ayat 4 )

Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w. yang bermaksud :

"Carilah untuk dijadikan maskahwin walaupun sebentuk cincin yang diperbuat daripada besi ." ( Riwayat Bukhari )

Dari hadith di atas nyatalah bahawa maskahwin boleh dijadikan daripada apa sahaja asalkan benda itu berguna dan berfaedah sama ada berupa wang, barang atau sesuatu yang bermanfaat sebagaimana diberitakan, Rasulullah s.a.w. pernah mengkahwinkan seorang lelaki yang tiada memiliki sesuatu pun untuk dijadikannya maskahwin lalu Rasulullah s.a.w. bertanya kepada lelaki itu, adakah pada engkau (hafaz ) sedikit daripada ayat Al-Qur'an, lelaki itu menyahut bahawa ia mengingati beberapa surah kemudian Rasulullah s.a.w. pun mengahwinkan lelaki itu dengan bermaskahwinkan surah yang diajarkan kepada perempuan yang bakal menjadi isterinya.

Maskahwin itu tidak dihadkan oleh syarak banyak atau sedikit, jadi untuk menentukan banyak atau sedikitnya itu terpulanglah kepada dua pihak di atas persetujuannya dan berdasarkan taraf atau darjat pengantin tersebut dan hukum syarak tidak menggalakkan maskahwin yang terlalu tinggi yang menyebabkan kesukaran bagi pihak lelaki.

Sebagaimana sabda Rasulullah s.a.w. yang bermaksud:

"Sebaik-baik maskahwin ialah yang lebih rendah ". ( Riwayat Abu Daud )

Dan sabda Rasulullah s.a.w. yang bermaksud:

"Sesungguhnya yang besar berkat nikah ialah yang sederhana belanjanya ". ( Riwayat Ahmad )

2. BAHAGIAN-BAHAGIAN MAHAR :

a) Mahar Misil. Iaitu Mahar yang dinilai mengikut maskahwin saudara-saudara perempuan yang telah berkahwin lebih dahulu dan hendaklah yang dinilai sama dengan maskahwin keluarganya yang paling dekat sekali seperti kakak, ibu saudaranya dan seterusnya disamping menilaikan keadaan perempuan itu sendiri dari segi kecantikan, kekayaan, pelajaran dan sebagainya.

b) Mahar Musamma. Iaitu maskahwin yang telah ditetapkan dan telah dipersetujui oleh kedua-dua belah pihak dengan tidak memandang kepada nilai maskahwin saudara-saudara perempuan itu.

3. HUKUM MENYEBUT MASKAHWIN DI WAKTU AKAD NIKAH:

i ) Wajib.

a. Jika bakal isteri itu seorang budak yang masih kecil, gila atau bodoh sedangkan bakal suami ingin membayar mahar yang lebih tinggi dari mahar yang sepatutnya ( Mahar Misil ).

b. Jika bakal isteri yang sudah baligh bijak dan boleh menguruskan dirinya sendiri dan telah membenarkan wali untuk mengkahwinkannya tetapi ia tidak menyerahkan kepada wali untuk menetapkan maskahwinnya.

c. Jika bakal suami itu tidak boleh menguruskan hal dirinya sendiri seperti masih budak, gila atau bodoh dan sebelum akad telah mendapat persetujuan dari bakal isteri tersebut tentang bayaran maskahwin kurang daripada mahar yang sepatutnya, oleh yang demikian maskahwin wajib dinyatakan sebagaimana yang dipersetujui. Maksud wajib disini bukanlah bererti perkahwinan itu tidak sah, tetapi perbuatan itu dianggap berdosa dan maskahwin dibayar mengikut kadar yang sepatutnya ( Mahar Misil ).

ii ) Sunat.

Rasulullah s.a.w tidak pernah meninggalkan dari menyebutnya semasa akad, apabila ia menikahkan orang lain. Dengan menyebutnya semasa akad berlangsung dapat mengelakkan dari berlaku perselisihan, berhubung dengannya, disamping dapat membezakan diantara perkahwinan biasa dengan perkahwinan pada seorang perempuan yang menghebahkan dirinya kepada Rasulullah s.a.w. tanpa mahar. Sekiranya mahar tidak di sebut dimasa akad, tidaklah bererti akad perkahwinan itu tidak sah tetapi makruh jika mahar itu tidak disebut.

4. WAJIB MASKAHWIN

Maskahwin itu wajib dibayar mengikut sebagaimana yang tersebut didalam akad jika dinyatakan dimasa akad dan maskahwin itu wajib dibayar dengan keadaan-keadaan yang berikut:-

i) Apabila suami menetapkan yang ia akan membayarnya sebelum dukhul dan dipersetujui oleh pihak isteri, oleh yang demikian isteri berhak melarang atau meghalang suami dari mensetubuhinya sehingga suami tersebut menentukan kadar maskahwin yang akan diberinya sama ada dengan cara tunai atau hutang, jika dijanjikan tunai maka pihak isteri berhak menghalang suami tersebut dari mensetubuhinya sehingga dijelaskan maskahwinnya itu.

ii) Bila penetapan maskahwin itu dibuat oleh kadi dengan sebab keengkaran pihak suami dari membuat ketetapan atau dengan sebab perbalahan atau perselisihan kedua belah pihak tentang kadar maskahwin tersebut dan bila kadi menentukannya akan maskahwin tersebut, hendaklah dibayar tunai (tidak boleh hutang).

5. GUGUR SEPARUH MASKAHWIN

Apabila berlaku talak sebelum persetubuhan maka gugurlah separuh maskahwin sebagaimana firman Allah ta'ala Yang bermaksud: "Dan jika kamu menceraikan perempuan sebelum persetubuhan sedangkan kamu telah menentukan kepada perempuan tersebut akan maskahwinnya , maka bagi perempuan itu setengah dari apa yang kamu tentukan itu".

Gugur separuh maskahwin sekiranya perceraian ini berlaku berpunca dari pihak suami, seperti suami jadi murtad atau suami menganut Islam dan isterinya tidak. Tetapi sekiranya berlaku perceraian itu berpunca dari pihak isteri, seperti suami memfasakhkan perkahwinan tersebut dengan sebab kecacatan yang ada pada isteri maka maskahwin itu akan gugur semuanya.

6. MATI SUAMI ATAU ISTERI SEBELUM PERSETUBUHAN

Jika seorang suami meninggal dunia sebelum berlaku persetubuhan, pihak waris si suami wajib membayar maskahwin itu sepenuhnya kepada bekas isterinya dan jika maskahwin itu belum ditentukan kadarnya, maka wajib dibayar dengan nilai mahar misil.

Sebaliknya pula jika seorang isteri meninggal dunia sebelum berlaku persetubuhan, pihak suami wajib membayar maskahwin sepenuhnya kepada waris bekas isterinya jika maskahwin itu belum dijelaskan lagi.

Sebagaimana sabda Rasulullah s.a.w. Yang bermaksud:

"Dari Alqamah katanya seorang perempuan telah berkahwin dengan seorang lelaki kemudian lelaki itu mati sebelum sampai mensetubuhi isterinya itu dan maskahwin pun belum ditentukan kadarnya. Kata Ulqamah, mereka mengadu hal tersebut kepada Abdullah, maka Abdullah berpendapat perempuan itu berhak mendapat mahar misil sepenuhnya, dan perempuan itu berhak mendapat pusaka dan wajib pula dengan bereddah. Maka ketika itu Ibnu Ma'kul bin Sanan Al- Saja'i menjelaskan bahawa sesungguhnya Nabi s.a.w. telah memutuskan terhadap Baraq bin Wasaq seperti yang dibuat oleh Abdullah tadi". (Riwayat Al-Tarmidzi)

7. MUT'AH

Mut'ah bererti satu pemberian dari suami kepada isteri sewaktu ia menceraikannya. Pemberian ini adalah wajib diberikan sekiranya perceraian itu berlaku dengan kehendak suami, bukan kemahuan isteri. Banyaknya pemberian itu adalah berdasarkan kepada persetujuan atau keredhaan kedua-dua belah pihak, di samping mempertimbangkan keadaan kedua-duanya sama ada kaya atau miskin dan sebagainya tidak kurang dari separuh mahar.

Firman Allah: Ertinya : Tenangkan olehmu hati mereka dengan pemberian dan lepaskanlah mereka dengan cara yang baik. ( Surah Al-Ahzab ayat 49)

3 comments:

  1. To Nana, wives to be and wives,

    First of all I would to like say this is my my own personal opinion based on my own experience and observations, I will not force them upon anyone and I do expect agreements from anyone either. If anyone disagrees with what I have to say, I meant no harm nor disrespect and I would like to apologise in advance.

    I didn't ask for a Quran either for my hantaran (Which explained the blasphamous gasping from relatives during my nikah). Instead I asked for a set of tafseer Al Quran by Ibn Katheer.

    During my time, they haven't sold it in Brunei yet, so I had to purchase mine in KL which cost about RM1K+ more than what a typical quran would cost. (How i manage to get it into Brunei, well that is a different matter ;) but now its being sold everywhere :) )

    It was pricey most definitely, but the content was invaluable, inexplicably priceless. It is the ilmu that was stored within the hardcover that mattered.

    I didn't want another Quran because I had loads already sitting in my shelf, each Quran has its own unique feature. But what I didn't have was a Quran that could explain to me the reason why an ayat was sent to Our Prophet, what's the story behind it, who were the characters involved in the incident that led to the revelation of a particular ayat. What happened to Our Prophet that led to the revelation of that ayat?

    Have you ever read the tafseer and wondered what is the difference between a surah that is mentioned as "Makkiyah" and a surah mentioned as "Maddaniyah"?

    Have you ever read several ayat that talks about one thing and then the next talks about another thing? Why is there a sudden jump from one ayat to another? IS there a relationship to all this?

    And sometimes you read an ayat and it doesn't make sense at all and doesn't it arouse your curiosity to find out more behind it?

    The set of Ibn Katheer tafseer had my answers. So I ask for it because I was planning ahead. Not only will my husband and I will benefit from the ilmu, but so will our children, and their children and their children after that.

    Have you heard the hadith about three things that will not be cut off when you die,

    1) Doa anak yang soleh
    2) Ilmu yang bermanfaat yg di ajarkan
    3) Sedekah jariah yang berpanjangan

    By requesting for the set of tafseer, I had every intention of prolonging my husband's pahala. After all, suami adalah pemimpin rumah tangga and isteri MEMBANTU suami menjadi pemimpin yang bijaksana. We don't just plan for dunia, but its the akhirat that will last.

    By giving the set of tafseer to me, he already gave me ilmu yang bermanfaat, which both of us will benefit from and insyaAllah, kalau cukup ilmu, we can help spread it to other people. And, when we spread ilmu to other people (lucky to those who work as educators) that is already sedekah amal jariah, cause that ilmu will go on and on and on. Two out of three amalan that has been fulfilled already. InsyaAllah.

    [to be continued]

    ReplyDelete
  2. The owner of saifulislam.com said,
    [Mengapa saya tulis ini semua (referring to the book “Aku terima nikahnya”)?
    Supaya anak muda yang gatal bercinta di celah cita-cita dapat menampar pipi masing-masing agar celik mata melihat ke depan. Jika menolak zina pun jadi kepayahan, halau dirimu daripada cinta dan perkahwinan. Bosan saya melihat jiwa lemah yang merengek-rengek meminta ihsan.
    Jika mau bercinta, jangan merancang hanya ke pelamin. Masukkan sekali urusan lampin. Kerana rumah tangga bukan Utopia cloud nine. Ia adalah kombinasi suka dan duka.
    Namun dalam duka tetap ada bahagia, itulah nikmat hidup berumah tangga. Medan memberi yang paling mulia.]

    Which is true, most of us plan only up to a certain point only. And most bride and groom only plan up to their ambil-ambilan night. The rest, will think of it later on.

    The wedding ends at ambil ambilan night, but the marriage starts when your husband say "Aku Terima Nikahnya", that is when the rest of your wedded life starts. Lampin and children college funds, all inclusive.

    In the link I posted in the tagboard, it mentioned that perjanjian akad nikah is “Mithaqan ghalizan”, as mentioned in the article, is only mentioned three times in the quran, one of which is akad nikah. This is in SUrah An-Nisa, ayat 22.

    If its mentioned rarely, with two being mentioned related to Tauhidullah, then it gives a strong indication of the seriousness of the words "Aku Terima Nikahnya". It means that your husband has the responsibility to guide you to be the a solehah Muslimah (first and foremost because our responsiblity is to Allah first), then be a solehah wife, and a solehah mother.

    If he fails to do so, then he can be called as dayus [do google Uztaz Zaharuddin’s article on “Siapa Lelaki Dayus dalam Islam” and he had better prepare some serious answers when it comes to judgement day.

    Wives, we must help our husbands supaya nda fall into this catergory!

    The role of a husband is not to be taken lightly from the religious aspect, but then it is the responsibility of the wife to make sure that she will not be the cause of her husband's downfall in Allah's sight.

    Segala sesuatu bermula dengan niat, yes? That is the hadith that we all have embedded in our heads. And that is where it begins, the heart. If the heart wants it, then it won't make excuses to not make it happen.

    In the book called Quranic Law of Attraction, it mentioned that "Positive thoughts about the Quran attracts postitivity, and vice versa. Negativity attracts negativity."

    In your case, Nana (and again this my opinion and if you're offended by it, I do apologise), by requesting for a Quran for your hantaran would be a wise idea.

    But have every intention (again back to niat) that you want to learn to read the Quran from that gift and you will make every effort in using it everytime your husband teaches you to read the quran or if you attend Quran classes.

    Because nikah is a gift from Allah to give both of you a fresh start. What were once haram, became halal and that is truly one of the greatest gift Allah can give to anyone. The opportunity to start over.

    What a better way to start fresh with a gift from your husband, a symbol of utmost purity and sincere love, a promise from him which said "Yes, I will guide you, in the name of Allah, by His book". Subhanallah, isn;t that an amazing way to start your journey into Islam?

    And everytime you read that hantaran Quran, the pahala is divided between both of you, the reader and the person who gave the Quran to you. Nah, free additional pahala for your husband.

    And when you have mastered reading the Quran, you can in turn use that Quran to teach your children and the pahala goes back to you and your husband. Sedekah jairah and ilmu yang bermanfaat. And in return, you are teaching your children to be soleh and solehah, to abide by the rules of Allah and that, completes the hadith, right there and then. 3 things done, out of a simple gift, called the Quran :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. The hantaran Quran doesn't have to be pure jawi. Right now banyak berjual yang ada tafseeran nya by the side, also ada yang kana break down word by word (easy for those yang kan belajar Quranic arabic) and many more options.

    If you are unable to read the jawi bit, then you can still read the tafseer bit by the side and that is still reading. Because there is no point in reading the quran, but not know what you're reading. It's like watching a Korean movie without subtitles. The mouths are moving, the actors are fully animated, but you have no idea what they are on about.

    Positivity attracts positivity. If you want something positive out of the Quran, it will give it to you. And it all boils down to your heart, whether you want it or not.

    I too had the fear that the Quran I gave my husband would only end up in the cupboard collecting dust.

    But I read that the trick to prevent that from happening is to have the Quran next to your prayer mat, so its out in the open already and you have no excuse that you have to go thru all the trouble and get it, and set aside a time for which both you and your husband are able to sit down together, and take turns reading the quran, even for 10 minutes everyday. He could read a page and you could read one and that's that. Make it a daily routine. InsyaAllah, I've tried this method with my husband and alhamdulilah, it worked like a charm. We both agreed that between the period of maghrib to isya, that is our alone time with Allah. We would take turns reading a page per-person and then read the tafseer and out comes the tafseer Ibn Katheer to explain what we read.

    Ada masa nya tho, kan malas-malas atu. Especially when its my time of the month and I just wanna escape from reading the tafseer. Most definitely, memang manusia ada sifat bosan atu kan? Tapi insyaAllah, we do our best to remind each other and renew the niat.

    And that is what husbands and wives do, remind each other that their responsibility is first and foremost is towards Allah. Once you got that covered, insyaAllah, the rest will be easy peasy. :)

    This is a reminder for me first and foremost :) as wife yang ada sejuta kekurangan and a very nervous mother to be.

    ReplyDelete

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