A blog where I share my stories on the journey towards my happily ever after. *hee-hee*

NOW, you can share your stories with "My Wedding". The proposals, the preps, the good, the bad and everything in between! :D :D :D

Email me at : ann.j1010@gmail.com

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

tick, tock, tick, tock.. [editted]

Yesterday, went down to Bandar to look for a place where we can rent sinjang & dastar. Macam all this while I thought we're only able to rent the whole set, rupanya if bits and pieces pun can do~ Since I'm renting out my accessories at Myzura... so i dropped by to the place lh to see whether or not they hav the desired colour for sinjang n dastar my hubby-to-be. Was planning to go to Roza Rohaya tpikaaaan kmarin atu ramai org bh, well in the neighbourhood atu lh so if ada org nampak heeee~ malu ei~~ Dear fiancé ada cari dh d KB but no luck... doon't know arh Nurhayana tho.. oooo that reminds me, need to go there kan minjam P.A system for Nikah. Belum th singgah2nya dri haritu..yesterday pun lupa me jua.. too excited to see that ada matching sinjang n dastar with my lace... funny though I still don't know y I don't go to Maszalina. Tsk, tsk, tsk.. shame on u B2B!! Then again... I'm planning to hav my bridal bouquet to be done by them sal they do delivery.. hehehe *yay*

Warna apa bisai ah my bouquet ah... my songket is maroon.. and do I need one for nikah as well?? prolly a small itsy bitsy cute bouquet ah? we'll see... ok, going over board there..

Dear fiancé's planning to wear just baju melayu for ziarah (on sanding day) and muleh 7 but with dastar n sinjang ofcourse~ Which, I personally, recommended lah.. cos panas jua tu berziarah atu..and Muleh 7, is just a small ceremony (tpi diri makai lace~ *lol*) ok, ok..u got me there.. small but nonetheless, bersanding jua masih kn..dats y my dear pkai dastar jua. We're not gonna have ambil2an cos it's not practiced by the family (both).. Muleh 7 ? My dad mau ALL of us siblings have the same wedding functions carried out hehehe so ok lah, I'd say, why not?

Aaaaanyways, the big day is coming up soon!!! hahaha for my cousin that is.. he'll be married this weekend. I'm utterly excited for him, ntah don't know why.. it's gonna be just a simple function but yalah, us ladies ani jua yg excited to the max. My sister is doing her best to decorate my cousin's Hantaran (her gift to him, kna suruh oleh my aunty lh jua).. siuk semua barang2 ada. As for mine nanti... my balasan Hantaran(s) ... duit saja buat lh, sama jua equivalent.

I'm gonna be the wedding blogger of the day ni.. will upload his wedding pics nanti insya-Allah~ As for now..I'm sure my aunt is pretty busy with her preparation. Will most definitely drop by her place tomorrow ;) Siuk ne menervouskan cousin..especially if the cousin is a GUY. I don't know what my job ne nanti for his wedding but..let's hope that it's notgonna be a tiring one (bila jua events kahwin ani nda tiring??) ... dub, dab, dub, dab... the clock is ticking on me.


Sunday, 26 April 2009

talk abt preps~

Had this entry ready 2 nights ago but didn't get the chance to publish it.. nyeh, nyeh, nyeh~

I was having dinner with my parents when the story about my wedding preparation popped in. Mum was actually reminding the maid, to keep safe the daun 'pacar' yg her friend bought for her frm Mekah.. au, ytbh~ ready dh mummy ah hehehe... She said it's for my wedding nanti so I asked her, who'll be my Pengangun. She haven't actually decide who but for sure it's one of the relatives lh... *phew* Dlu my sisters bisai~ late wife my Angah sja, now she nada.. *sigh* (Al-Fatihah)

THEN I asked my parents, what exactly peranan 'pengangun' ani kan... why must there be a pengangun for pengantins? be it for men / women? Kata dorg, Pengangun ani time dlu2 for sure org yg 'berisi' / 'berilmu' that can actually prevent us pengantins from outside disturbance. Kan zaman dulu-dulu ani ada2 saja org kn mengacau, especially th klu yg berdendam2 ani..over the top tu ilmu mengacau ah~ SO yeah, pengangun ani kira penjaga KHAS for Pengantin lah... That explains why they're very strict sometimes... kuat th ilmunya tu!

Oh yes, why female? I also forgot to ask... my wild guess would be, bini2 saja yg hold that 'ilmu' no? Just a guess.. hehehe maybe you all can find that one out for me..

THEN mummy asked me about my bajus... hoodear, siap sudah / belum?? She's doing a follow-up ni..more like bertanya lh jua cos she doesn't know how exactly me buat my baju(s) *lol* yes, yes.. I didn't tell dearest mummy. such a meanie... but anyways, I did explain to her briefly on how my bajus will look like... ksian jua kn, tau lah mums...always wanting to know these things~
  • nikah attire - lace but simple baju kurung
  • berbedak - chiffon fashion moder, just plain at least bleh pakai lgi hehe
  • bersanding - fully songket
  • muleh 7 - lace (of which i bought on sale and was rather cheap inclusive with satin lining, and satin for the men as well...)
Cool eh? How I come up with the designs.. I basically read through lots and lots and lots of magazines, and surfed through the internet...

the collar design is suitable for baju berbedak with our traditional Brunei attire, although I think the hand shouldn't be THAT lebar..

this fashion is suitable for nikah and even sanding for reception OR ambil2an

I personally like this one.. simple saja and nice... should've made this design sja haritu and plaay with the accessories to make the nikah attire seems grand.. but *sigh* nevermind... kamu saja yg blum buat ah~

I like this blue dress as well, if the collar is cheong-sam like..bleh jdi my bju berbedak ni! *lol*

You all may look at these sites as well : Amy Bridal, Rinsuzanna Collection and Butik Man Kajang (arah gallery - wedding fashion) Laawaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! Cnfirm plg rambang mata meliat... I know I was~ *lol*

As for MEN, siuk bah dorang ani.. they can either go for Songket Baju Melayu or those one yg with outside coat atu. Main attraction would be HOW THE SINJANG kna ikat and HOW the DASTAR kna lipat, takes a lot of 'seni' / creativity for that.

I do noticed that there are varieties of designs being used by the Grooms..yth mesti padan dgn shape muka apa jua tu. Not forgetting the Keris, Brooches for the Dastar AND other accessories.. (my dear fiancé pun I adviced pasal certain lipatan Dastar designs.. unless padan dgn mukanya lh, we'll have to wait till our baju sanding fitting session nanti.. insya-Allah, end of June ;) )

I know my mum tau plang cana melipat dastar ani cos she's done it so many tymes with my cousins tpi nada gambar.. tau lah, zaman kiteorg kecil2 dlu~ But do have a look through to all the gmbr pengantin arh our photogs webbie.. macam2! Or if ada gmbr2 dlm Dirgahayu.. mcm2 tu Dastar our Cheterias and ofcourse, I like His Majesty's ones. Soooo... what's the word, REGAL!

Creative jua orang Melayu ani ah~ It's amazing how they can have such creativities atu bh... until nxt time dearies~

Tuesday, 21 April 2009


Maroon red and black.. that'll be my font colour for the invitation card and it's been decided! Dad pun ok with it..so yeh, m just gonna stick to that. Had a discussion with Mummy tadi, she suggested yg inserts for Jemputan Nikah should be different from Jemputan Berdzikir.. "If colournya lain..tau org it's for different function.." hmmm au ah so very true~ I have yet to give my confirmation to Ezy Printing and then pay my deposit... (which is 50% of the total cost) waaa!!

My room extension is almost done, well- i can say 60% dh lh.. they've done the brickworks for the wall, prolly will commence plastering up the external brickwall pretty soon~ (dalam siap sudah) My sis and Dad has chosen the wall paint for my room, it's gonna be Barley White (some sort of creamish like..it's the safest colour anyway..) For a small room better pakai colour yg light so as to make the room seems 'spacious' plus yeh furniture warna cream jua.. *lol* yth, I'll add abit contrast to the room with the flooring and curtains nanti.... Insya-Allah by middle of next month, siap th my room ani ;) Can't waaaiiiit!~!~!~

before, ada unused beranda diluar..hence dinding kna pacahkan

veranda covered up adding 3 feet to the width of my room (kira ok la)
Below are some pics I've googled up on room decorations for cream bedsets. Certainly gave me the idea on what paint, duvet and curtain colours I shall choose for my room... although, ours' bukan a posted bed~

Neat huh?

Oh, oooohhhhh!!! Speak of which, I need a topper or maybe a comforter for my mattress..dimana bisai membali ah?? And possibility a duvet.. need to discuss this with Maya frm Sunil Emporium, are they gonna make me a duvet OR duvet cover saja. I'll note this one down in my notebook.. ;)

*phew* Less than 4 months away..tick,tock,tick,tock!! I've already booked myself slots for the Pre-Nikah Course.. it's a month duration and the course is once a week for 4 wks.. :) *yay* I sure hope I don't forget my timetable, once lupa... gerenti hav to come the next month lgi (but ofcourse for the missed session only) NOT advisable, k!! Hehe ait then peeps.. til nxt time.


Friday, 17 April 2009

Friday updates!

Yesterday evening, me and dear fiancé decided to drop by @ Sunil's Emporium to get a quotation for my bedroom curtains and bedsheets. Yes, yes decided to get them custom made and I prefer to stick to where my family members selalu buat their curtains n sofa upholstery, trusts their workmanship ;) For those yg staying either in Bandar, Tutong or KB (I'm sure some KBians prefer to get their's done in A-Miri-Ka), here's a list of places I could recommend to everyone :
  • Fabrica @ Gadong Properties..lots and lots of choices there.. carpeting pun nice
  • Hock Ling @ 1st Floor Qlap Plaza
  • Apollo Curtains & Carpets @ Kiulap OR Batu 1
  • Haska @ Urairah Complex
  • Maya Silk Emporium @ Pandan 7 KB, Petani Mall Tutong..pun bsai, the price quoted is for materials sja ne.. sama like Sunil's Emporium.
  • a few other shops @ Delima Sq. and @ Regent Sq. Kiulap which hehehe I forgot the names.. *sorry*
So we went to and have a look through with the materials to actually match it with our modern classic concept and Alhamdulillah.. got what we want~ as for designs, kami mau simple saja so na hassle but if you lots can just drop by to the shops mentioned above and they can show you their sample and masterpiece.. hehehe as for me, I did looked up on Google for some designs just to get the idea but yalah.. terlabih 'the most' krg payah jua~ Sunday they'll be coming over to my place to get the measurement for my windows hehehe.... I just ask them to take their time lah membuat, my room ani under renovation jua at the moment ..soo yah..~

Few pointers for those yg kan prepare their rooms :
  1. Wall = paint (self or contractor) / wallpaper
  2. Floor = tiles / carpeting / laminating
  3. Bedsets and Wardrobe = custom-made / bought
  4. Curtains = ready-made / custom-made
  5. Decorations = self / $$$
  6. Lightings
  7. Ceilings
I decided to not change my ceilings n lighting except maybe bgi side table lamp sja, imagine early 1980s chandelier in my room.. cool kan? *lol* as for the floor, Mum keeps on emphasizing on laminated timber floor, so that'll be my next agenda. I did manage to get a good offer price msa CLEX @ ICC last weekend so I might give them a call while my just-a-mtre-xtension room renovation is in progress.

Decided not to do any wallpapering, although I had in mind to install wallpanels for soundproofing but..naaahhh~ wastage for me...ada my friend sorang atu plg tu teluan iski~ nda smpt tukar cadar tia lgi~~ *inside joke*lol* But yeh, baik guna my ka-ching!! for something else... banar nda?

Had a view of my invitation card draft tdi.. not baaaad I must say, though ada minor errors lh td so I guess better me view lg nxt week and the quoted price, acceptable! :) Alhamdulillah~I hav yet to choose the font colour for me invitation card. My card is metallic cream, so shall the writing be ... dark brown? dark blue? maroon? purple? green?

Which 1 shall it be..

Thursday, 16 April 2009

The Proposal - Part IV

Salam all… sorry for my delay..

A proposal is merely a proposal, though some of us would most definitely dream of those kinds they do in the movies. BUT then again we’ve seen ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’, Will Turner proposed to Elizabeth when fighting Davy Jones’ pirates, Monica from Friends was the one who proposed to Chandler *lol* and like some other movies it’ll be like out for a candle-light dinner or just simply some place romantic, the ring in the cake…or the fruit salad, bending on one knee.. else, on billboard screen bla bla a sky banner.. hrm macam2 lh… I know some Bruneians do go the extend of bending on one knee but mostly would just simply said,

“Babe, we’ve been together for quite a some time... I wanna know where this relationship is heading?” normally ani us girls lh ah yg tanya heheehhe


since tani ani jenis yg main bunga2 lgi… the case wud be after attending our friends’ wedding..

“Sayang, lawa baju c Girl atu ah… klu my wedding nanti Me mo this colour eh…”

now ofcourse to some Men yg ready dh, they’d say..

“You’d definitely look beautiful tu nanti sayang… I’ve been thinkg jua…”

Boh.. and here comes the questn

“We’ve been 2gether quite a while… mo you if my parents dtg ke rumah you..”

OR initiative from our parents haha like my mum said on my last 24th birthday

“Lai, 24 sudah ni… blum ada plan kan kawin kah?” *kweng, kweng, kweng.. malu I~* and as said in ‘The Proposal’ entry, me and dear fiancé were merely talking abt room renovations… and he just spontaneously said, “bah kawin tani?” *butterflies in the tummy* thought he was kidding, me jwb saja “bah, jom!” *lol* but then he sounded very serious so I asked "banarkh?" rupanya BANAR! oh my..... *blush*

We then continued on talking about when to tell our parents about it, when we want our wedding to be bla bla bla.. banar I was really excited that time...! Though he apologized for not proposing me in a proper way as it was just spontaneous, but to me it's the thought that counts cos ya cakap spontaneously... meaning it's been playing in his head sudah for quite a sometime...kan, kan, kan??? ;) *cute*

So yeah, bab-bab cemani ani… regardless of generations, we’re Malays and Muslims kan so it has to be with tata-tertib. Firstly with wakil from pihak lelaki (normally the parents lh tu) datang ke rumah tani to ‘risik-risik’ … I remember my sis ckp my mum had her panic button ON when receiving a call from dear fiancé’s mummy as they informed kan dtg k rumah *lol* kesian eh… Yth bz dorang getting ready with the permintaan(s) and setting up the date for tunang.

Merisik-risik ani just to actually tell the bride’s parents that a guy (our boyfie) is interested to take their daughter’s hand in marriage. Kalau ok… then dorang proceed with discussions for the dates (tunang/nikah/sanding) and also whether or not durang mau just a simplified one kh apa. Atu rundingan parents, their approach pun ntah cemana kah hehehe but we have to highlight it to them lah apa yg we want… I’m sure they’ll be open about it (I hope) though some parents can get abit stingy and mau mengamalkan durg punya tradition atu bnr2…then that, mesti th buat rundingan terperinci tu. Jawapan from the bride’s parents (mine as well) was not told immediately, pa and ma told them they’ll need a week to give their answer..padahal agree jua sudah tu... Sekali, without me knowing until the eve b4 the actual day, my parents decide kan ke rumah durg (membalas pantun~ as my sisters called it.. but as us Bruneians cakap, ‘BEDUDUN~’) to give answers and confirmation.

As I’ve said before, practice dlu2 betunang ani trus th membagi hantaran apa.. kira rombongan meminang mcm dlm filem Musang Berjanggut or rombongan meminang Hj. Bakhil in Labu Labi.. hehe~ yes, I’m into P.Ramlee’s movies.. selected ones

Our engagement ceremony was a simple one, our parents decided to do the hantaran bit during nikah nanti…hence it’s just rombongan dear fiancé family ke rumah untuk meminang me~ Then, once the discussion and negotiation’s settled, me kna panggil and kna sarungi cincin leh Aunty (dear fiancé’s mummy). Some ladies opted to dress up for this particular function, me? Dress up biasa2 saja… baju kurung n tudung, powder sikit, eye-liner n lip gloss pun sudah ok. Up to u gals 2 decide. Cali jua rasanya lh duduk in the middle of the room surrounded by the elderly ladies, eyes glaring at you from head to toe.. mcm… I’m like screaming HOMAIGAAATTTTTTT!! dlm hati.

During the ‘menerima pinangan’ session, my father appointed my Nini as a spoke person. Katanya, pihak lelaki mesti lurus tu menyabut siapa bini2 kan dipinang and siapa nama lelaki yg meminang ani…mun salah, salah tah tu….(aiii kejamkan!!) but I’m sure my Dad’s just meniaya me and besides, rombongan dear fiancé bawa booklet kli ah~ hehehe so yeah, like mentioned earlier once betunang, HARAM for other guys to pinang us..

Digalakkan dalam Islam jua jangan hold the tunang status batah2 cos anything can happen in between the time of tunang and nikah. The devil will kacau semampunya. Apa2pun, if it’s concerning budget…there’s no harm in having the tunang, nikah and sanding session all in 1 day (close families and friends dijemput pun ok jua sudah tu bh... ) Inda salah bernikah makai songket, di sunatkan saja memakai warna putih.

Oh that reminds me, had my bju nikah fitting session haritu.. I like~~ hehehe

Until then peeps… mcm panjang dh my story ani… *lol*

Monday, 13 April 2009

additional info

Salam all, I forgot to add this one into my previous entry... actually, when a Hantaran set is inclusive of the 'Al-Quran' . The Sirih WONT act as Kepala Hantaran, it MUST be the Qur'an. We all should know that... bedusa karang~

Thank to NaMe for pointing that one out... :) :)

Priority list should be :
  1. Al-Quran (mau jua ur other half membaca kan..)
  2. Sirih Junjung
  3. Kain Jongsarat
  4. Mas Kahwin
  5. Belanja Hangus / Wang Hantaran
  6. Other hantaran gifts
Kalau dulu2 and as still practiced by some, hantaran ani kna bagi time tunang plg ni~ but nowadays byk org combinekn with Nikah... Tunang atu kira just "booking" the girl awal2 lah.Have to be informed to all, that once tani tunangan orang... HARAM th orang lain kan meminang tani tu ah (yes, yes that's y mums nda mo keep it a secret~) hence my next entry will be... hmmmm, reverse sikit lah ah, entry for Men... "Meminang & Bertunang" should've posted this one up before I posted Rukun Nikah last time.. nvrmd~

N/B : If any of yous have any infos for this blog, feel free to leave me a word or two...

Sunday, 12 April 2009

moving out!

Tiring day 2day... I totally emptied up my room and I meeaaaaan.. EMPTY!!

The work started around 10a.m this morning after breakfast with Dad, Mum was out for a choir practice (yes, me mum's sing! *thumbsup*).. talked abt how I'm gonna empty up my room. Didn't expect that I'm gonna finished it up by 6p.m this evening.. banyak junkies eh! Think I should grab a pix of my room so that nanti i can actually get to show u peeps the before and after pix... nanti lah after the whole renovation is done...

Dad was like.. kan lagi banyak jua brg2 dlm bilik mu ani?!?! Au yatahtubah.... 3 rooms punya junkies cramped in 1, so you guys could imagine! *lol* Found some magazines that I stacked under my bed, sempat jua looking through them all.. especially the kahwin2 section, just to look for varieties of hantaran designs and noticeably, both sides bh membagi sireh junjung ani (fyi, Malaysians mag ne ah) ... ythh got me confuse sikit but yg i observe here in Brunei, Men saja bagi.. guess different folks different practice eh?

So yeah, the Sireh Junjong...

It's actually Sireh (Betel Nut Leaves) decorated in such a way so that it looks grand and as how we'd say it, THE MOST! In the olden days, the dauh sireh is actually serve to houseguests (kira macam nowadays tani tea/coffee lh tu) In a way, it's like pembuka kata everytime tani visit our family/relatives/friends. The Sireh too has a very good significance with weddings, especially us Malays. Sireh, when munch with kapur & pinang (reminds me of the song mum used to sing, sekapor sirih seulas pinang) ada this bitter, sweet, sour & salty taste hence this resembles the life we're about to face when we're married. Ada logika jua lh ah... nda? That's why org Brunei (pihak laki) make Sireh Junjung as kepala Hantaran. Not only that it respectfully says, 'let's talk marriage...' (pembuka mulut)..but it also has an association with the lady-to-be-wed... purity of a bride (if u know what I mean).

The Betel Nut leaves are important symbol for us women. Kata the old folks, if dulu2.. should it be discovered after the wedding that a bride is in fact not a virgin, the sirih is overturned. The marriage itself was often declared invalid through such an act. That's how important honour is in the olden days... nowadays? I let you all ponder on that one.... ;)

But anyways, since nowadays nda lagi berapa byk orang suka munching on sirih & pinang ... what other uses can we do with the betel leaves after kna buat sireh junjung as hantaran? Well, here's a tip for all bride-to-bes out there.. even married women ;) Some 10 to 20 leaves are brought to a short boil. The water is then left to cool down. This water can then be used to simply wash the female genitals (works like a charm for 'reinstatement') However, more effective is to have the water in a small basin, and then to sit inside for 15 to 30 minutes...

I'm sure this is amalan orang dlu2.. but who knows it might work kan...? Mesti jdikan amalan lh baru th tau~ The leaf itself pun resembles the female vajayjay... hehehe ok, too much info there.. till nxt tym peeps.. gd night!

Saturday, 11 April 2009


I've been getting +ive feedback regarding the last info I posted up. I too was really surprised about it, tpi ndakan nda mo pecaya kan.. cos it's our very own Mufti's sayings. If ada orang still mau bepacar, well, it's their own risk. Apanya org Brunei... sendiri tanggung~

Moving on to my new entry, well.. it was yesterday's story plang ne ah... hehehe

Got ourselves a place to custom our hantarans/dulang2an.. *thumbsup* well, me I just book the slot lh as for design creations blum lagi *lol* advance plang dear fiancé tu.. siap dengan mau exactly sama macam bedisplay arh the shop tia jua lagi~ aiseyyyy~~ hehehehe :P :P :P BUYUK! nadabah... at least he's got nothing to worry of lgi, except yeah some minor arrangements and fitting our bajus and distribution of invitation cards once its done nanti ;) I've to be my own secretary in this area pasalnya like I've said in my previous entry, past weddings pun myself jua tukang taip .. hehehe ani basically updating...

Oh yes, something about hantaran ani, I'm sure most of you are interested to know apa2 saja kan dibagi for hantarans. Nowadays it's a trend but NOT a must to give a set of men's working attire, shoes, perfumes, baju melayu& sinjang.. for women, vice versa lah tu ah~ and then there's this thing about numbers of dulangs to give to your partners respectively.

From what I've been told, "I've been TOLD ok.." and has always been practised.. no. of dulang mesti GANJIL min. 7 dulangs (meaning... 7, 9, 11, 13, 15 etc, etc, etc) AND d bride *coughs* mesti bgi more than the guy... girls~~ apa lagi.. a good reason to go SHOPPIIINNNGGGG!!!!! *winks* better not constrain ur budget on these jua lh ah~ back to Khutbah the other day, pandai2 control budget masing2.. :) :) :)

Aaaaaannyways, I better stop here dulu.. will definitely post something pasaL 'SIRIH JUNJUNG' nanti ;)

Friday, 10 April 2009


When reminded by Ka DD on our pre-wed meetings next June, I instantly thought of 'henna' works...

A cousin to a dear friend of mine has got hers' done @ Nail Artz Kiulap, question is... do i want to have it done for me? So I consulted dear fiancé abt it, his response was... "Up to you~" (not helping~) [additional info: henna designs on our skin like floral2 atu, menyerupai org Hindu.. soo errrr... thinking twice on this, need to research abt this] My dear is right on being indecisive, cos definitely lelaki nda jua bepacar time kahwin right? it has been said in our Jabatan Mufti Kerajaan, Jun 1998, Newsletter....


    Sebelum kedatangan Islam, berinai atau 'bapacar' sebenarnya sudahpun wujud. Orang sudah tahu 'bapacar' itu sebagai salah satu cara untuk berhias. Tidak terkecuali juga bagi masyarakat Melayu, mereka menggunakan 'pacar' sebagai salah satu cara berhias. Ini termasuk menjadikannya sebagai salah satu acara di dalam adat perkahwinan orang Melayu, samada bagi pengantin lelaki ataupun pengantin perempuan.

    Bagi perempuan, hukum berinai atau 'bapacar' itu adakalanya sunat, adakalanya makruh, dan bahkan adakalanya haram. Perbezaan hukum ini nampak apabila dirujuk kepada keadaan serta status perempuan itu sama ada bersuami atau tidak. Selain itu, dirujuk juga kepada tujuan berinai atau bapacar itu.

    Bagaimana pula bagi lelaki, terutama bagi mereka yang menjadi 'raja sehari'? Apakah hukum 'bapacar' bagi pengantin lelaki? Macam mana pula kalau inai atau 'pacar' itu digunakan pada uban atau janggut?


    Adapun berinai atau 'bapacar' dengan daun inai atau sebagainya, pada dua tangan dan kaki, bagi kaum lelaki hukumnya adalah haram. Di antara dalil yang mengharamkan lelaki berinai atau 'bapacar' ialah hadis sahih yang diriwayatkan oleh Imam Bukhari dan Imam Muslim:

    Maksudnya: "Daripada Anas dia berkata: "Bahawa Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam melarang kaum lelaki memakai za'faran (kuma-kuma)."

    (Hadis riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim)

    Za'faran (kuma-kuma) adalah sejenis daun tumbuh-tumbuhan yang mengeluarkan warna serta berbau harum.

    Dilarang memakai za'faran (kuma-kuma) bagi lelaki adalah kerana warnanya bukan baunya, kerana memakai benda yang harum bagi lelaki adalah disunatkan. Daun inai itu sama seperti za'faran dari segi mengeluarkan warna dan bau.

    Tambahan lagi, perbuatan berinai pada tangan dan kaki itu di dalamnya unsur-unsur menyerupai atau meniru-niru cara kaum wanita berhias. Haram hukumnya perbuatan meniru-niru atau menyerupai antara lelaki dan perempuan sebagaimana ditegaskan di dalam sebuah hadis sahih:

    Maksudnya: "Daripada Ibnu 'Abbas Radhiallahu Anhuma beliau berkata: "Bahawa Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam melaknat kaum lelaki yang menyerupai atau meniru-niru kaum wanita dan kaum wanita yang menyerupai atau meniru-niru kaum lelaki."

    (Hadis riwayat Bukhari)

    Bagaimanapun jika sekiranya lelaki itu berinai atau 'bapacar' kerana ada keuzuran iaitu keperluan atau hajat untuk berubat, tidaklah diharamkan malahan tidaklah dimakruhkan ke atasnya untuk berinai.

    Tersebut di dalam hadis yang diriwayatkan oleh Imam Abu Daud :

    Maksudnya: "Daripada Salma khadam Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam dia berkata: "Tidak mengadu kepada Baginda Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam seseorang tentang sakit di kepala melainkan Baginda menyuruh orang itu supaya berbekam, dan tidak mengadu kepadanya seseorang tentang sakit di kakinya (pecah kulit) melainkan Baginda menyuruhnya supaya berinai."

    (Hadis riwayat Abu Daud)

    Merujuk kepada apa yang berlaku sekarang ini di tengah masyarakat kita, perbuatan berinai atau 'bapacar' bagi lelaki masih wujud walaupun ada di antaranya telah mengetahui tentang hukumnya, khasnya kepada pengantin lelaki pada majlis malam 'bapacar'. Berinai atau 'bapacar' bagi pengantin lelaki hukumnya tetap dilarang. Pengecualian daripada hukum tersebut hanya terbatas kepada keadaan jika ada keuzuran sahaja, iaitu bagi tujuan berubat, sebagaimana disebutkan terdahulu.

    Secara umumnya berinai atau 'bapacar' bagi pengantin lelaki pada tangan dan kaki hanya merupakan adat semata-mata, tidak ada disyariatkan di dalam Islam.


    Sunat berinai atau 'bapacar' dengan daun inai atau sebagainya pada uban dan janggut, dengan warna merah atau kuning bukan warna hitam. Perkara ini telah disepakati oleh ulama Syafi'e.

    Di antara dalil yang menunjukkan sunat berinai atau 'bapacar' pada uban dan janggut, hadis Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam:

    Maksudnya: "Daripada Abu Hurairah Radhiallahu Anhu katanya: "Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalam bersabda: "Orang-orang Yahudi dan Nasrani tidak mencelup (rambut dan janggut meraka), kerana itu buatlah kelainan daripada mereka."

    (Hadis riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim)

    Sementara itu dalil yang menunjukkan haram berinai atau 'bapacar' dengan warna hitam ialah hadis Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam yang diriwayatkan oleh Imam Bukhari dan Imam Muslim:

    Maksudnya: "Daripada Jabir bin Abdullah katanya: "Pada hari penaklukan Mekah di bawa Abu Quhafah ke hadapan Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam dengan rambut dan janggutnya memutih seperti tsaghamah (sejenis tumbuhan bunga dan buahnya berwarna putih seperti putih uban). Maka bersabda Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam: "Celuplah (rambut dan janggut) kamu selain dengan warna hitam."

    (Hadis riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim)

    Di samping itu ada hadis lain yang menyebutkan akan amaran terhadap orang yang mewarnakan atau berinai dengan warna hitam sebagaimana sabda Baginda Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam daripada Ibnu 'Abbas Radhiallahu Anhuma:

    Maksudnya: "Akan ada satu kumpulan orang berinai dengan warna hitam pada akhir zaman (seperti sekarang) seperti dada burung merpati yang hitam, mereka tidak dapat mencium bau syurga."

    (Hadis riwayat Abu Daud, Nasa'i dan lain-lain)

    Terdapat pengecualian daripada hukum haram berinai atau 'bapacar' dengan warna hitam itu di mana dibolehkan bagi lelaki berinai atau bapacar uban atau janggut, iaitu pada waktu peperangan supaya kelihatan muda dan perkasa bagi tujuan menggerunkan dan menakutkan musuh.

Au bah, banar2 jua sudah tu buat research ;) Butit's for our own good jua kan? sekadar sharing some infos... so yeah, us ladies, it's OK. :) Men, better nda lah yea...~

But why for us ladies bleh hukumnya, sunat, makruh and haram... it was said depending on a woman's status..

1. Haram - Women dalam Iddah
2. Sunat - Married Women (berlawa2 tuk laki)
3. Makruh - Ladies for tujuan saja2
4. Harus - tujuan perubatan

This Bride2Be is abit sakai learning all this new things... *lol* hoped it's rather informative to all! Catch with me soon yeh?

Thursday, 9 April 2009

The Hantarans....

Right, time for reviewing checklist :
  1. Borang Nikah - sent to Mahkamah Sya'riah (under process~)
  2. Borang Kursus - on its way...
  3. Baju(s) Pengantin - OK
  4. Catering - OK..so far.. (Dad's handling it for me)
  5. Campur - Mum's, #1 and #2's to handle
  6. Room - moving out this Sunday, work commence Monday
  7. Bedset - Bought! (tpi suruh simpan dlu arh warehouse)
  8. Curtain & Carpeting - to be negotiated...
  9. Photog - confirmed
  10. Make-Up artist - confirmed
  11. Invitation cards - like i said, that'll be tomorrow...
  12. Hantarans - bought sudah.. tinggal menambah2 lgi if ada yg berkenan~ hehehe
That's half almost done *thumbsup* I have yet to consider the idea of decorating my hantarans myself (with the help of #1 and #2 ofcourse~) OR just send my stuffs for hantaran deco~ which is cheaper, perhaps?? Can anyone reckon?

I did try to buy meself a set of materials for 1 deco, macam costly kan~ I guess it depends on how you want your decorations to be... ALSO theme, the theme colour atu yg penting tu..!Once u've set the colour.. you can go for buying all the materials associated with the theme colour. Plenty to choose from but you have to get some infos on where you guys kan pinjam gangsa & lapik.

As for design, I have surfed on a few lawa-ness hantaran deco... there's just soooooo much style that you could go for, I'm like, creative jua bisdia ani!!? They either use fresh flowers, bunga stokin, bunga dip (dont knw y they called it 'dip'), crystals, gold or silver plated flowers or the basic one, bunga plastik! Hehehe :) That's just for flowers ey... in addition, you might wanna choose to use the silver / gold boxes, wooden trays, rattan boxes / baskets / trays or just merely the styling foam. Mana2 aja lh u wanna pick... :) Even me myself pun rambang mata lehnya... macam.. ntah lah! *sigh*

Here's one site that says it all, MERISIK GALLERY (Malaysiian though.. but it can give us some pointers kan?) Di Brunei, I cam across 2 local blogs specialising on hantarans so far... mayb ada lgi tpi blum kejumpahan. A few of the wedding boutiques in Brunei pun ada yg offer such services. So it's up to us. We could :

  • rent dulang & lapik then deco sendiri
  • rent dulang & lapik & accessories then deco sendiri
  • rent dulang & lapik & buy accessories and deco elsewhere
  • rent dulang & lapik & accessories + deco @ a particular shop
  • rent dulang & accessories, buy lapik and deco @ shop
  • rent dulang & accessories, buy lapik and deco sendiri ...
hmmmm now that's a lot of options... *lol* mana bisai?

Tuesday, 7 April 2009


I was busy spring cleaning my office room yesterday with my staff when this very thought / idea came into my head. Macam... hmmmm~

I was thinking kan buat saja my invitation card here in Brunei rather than keluar g k KL bh.. for sure mbayar excess apa lgi tu, knowing I'm with my sister and yes, Mummy! So prolly, as discussed at AkadNikah.Com, mesti th scouting the places ni~ This would be the plans for Friday.. :) :) :) Being a helper for that site's chatbox really helps and I do get some pointers even.. so yah! My stops would most definitely be @
  1. Ezy Printing, Jerudong
  2. Nyuk Lian, Kiarong (they say it's near Fleur De Lyss)
  3. JL, Menglait (sebarang Michelin... might go there since dear fiancé is servicing his car there this Friday)
  4. the shop sebaris Ong marble (Beribi)
Hopefully ada yg berkenan nanti lah ah.. Dad adviced me not to go jua cos need to settle some stuffs here lgi~ *sigh*

Will update more soon...

Monday, 6 April 2009

Trip to K.L ~ booked

Yesterday, I booked my tickets to K.L. ... yes, will be flying sometime early May, after my cousin's wedding! Me, mummy and #1 lah yg pegi this time around. Not sure where we gonna stay nanti but I hope it's just somewhere @ Masjid India.

I've been struck by kusut-ness due to the invitation cards, yes, still! I hope the gal e-mailed me quick, I'd want my confirmation by end of this week. Then, since takut pisang berbuah dua kali, better I ask her to print a copy dlu, scan and emailed them to me.. need to make sure that it is readable this time around.... (#2's advice)

I bought my bed set dah last week during the Da Vinci Collection Charity Sale.. :) :) I kinda like the design so just immediately beli lah, and yesterday what did I found out? Arah one of the wedding pics I Surfed on to... sama ani wah furniture kami! *lol* But definitely will try to make mine look slightly different.. bila mendeco2 lah tu nanti ah?

Dad has confirmed with me to pacahkan dinding my room and extend sikit (kira close up my veranda) yes.. nda jua begunakan beranda atu.. so.. hrm, I sortof agree with that idea... meaning, have to move out from my room lah ni nanti... dudidudidudidu~ #2 has offered me to sleepover arh her room.. we'll see lah yea, but then again, I did that sometimes ..especially masa air-cond inda baik hehehehe so yeah, moving out from room - to be implemented! Dimana tah my cat tido ne? poor little guy...
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