updates

I've been getting +ive feedback regarding the last info I posted up. I too was really surprised about it, tpi ndakan nda mo pecaya kan.. cos it's our very own Mufti's sayings. If ada orang still mau bepacar, well, it's their own risk. Apanya org Brunei... sendiri tanggung~

Moving on to my new entry, well.. it was yesterday's story plang ne ah... hehehe

Got ourselves a place to custom our hantarans/dulang2an.. *thumbsup* well, me I just book the slot lh as for design creations blum lagi *lol* advance plang dear fiancé tu.. siap dengan mau exactly sama macam bedisplay arh the shop tia jua lagi~ aiseyyyy~~ hehehehe :P :P :P BUYUK! nadabah... at least he's got nothing to worry of lgi, except yeah some minor arrangements and fitting our bajus and distribution of invitation cards once its done nanti ;) I've to be my own secretary in this area pasalnya like I've said in my previous entry, past weddings pun myself jua tukang taip .. hehehe ani basically updating...

Oh yes, something about hantaran ani, I'm sure most of you are interested to know apa2 saja kan dibagi for hantarans. Nowadays it's a trend but NOT a must to give a set of men's working attire, shoes, perfumes, baju melayu& sinjang.. for women, vice versa lah tu ah~ and then there's this thing about numbers of dulangs to give to your partners respectively.

From what I've been told, "I've been TOLD ok.." and has always been practised.. no. of dulang mesti GANJIL min. 7 dulangs (meaning... 7, 9, 11, 13, 15 etc, etc, etc) AND d bride *coughs* mesti bgi more than the guy... girls~~ apa lagi.. a good reason to go SHOPPIIINNNGGGG!!!!! *winks* better not constrain ur budget on these jua lh ah~ back to Khutbah the other day, pandai2 control budget masing2.. :) :) :)

Aaaaaannyways, I better stop here dulu.. will definitely post something pasaL 'SIRIH JUNJUNG' nanti ;)

henna

When reminded by Ka DD on our pre-wed meetings next June, I instantly thought of 'henna' works...

A cousin to a dear friend of mine has got hers' done @ Nail Artz Kiulap, question is... do i want to have it done for me? So I consulted dear fiancé abt it, his response was... "Up to you~" (not helping~) [additional info: henna designs on our skin like floral2 atu, menyerupai org Hindu.. soo errrr... thinking twice on this, need to research abt this] My dear is right on being indecisive, cos definitely lelaki nda jua bepacar time kahwin right? it has been said in our Jabatan Mufti Kerajaan, Jun 1998, Newsletter....

BOLEHKAH LELAKI 'BAPACAR'?

Sebelum kedatangan Islam, berinai atau 'bapacar' sebenarnya sudahpun wujud. Orang sudah tahu 'bapacar' itu sebagai salah satu cara untuk berhias. Tidak terkecuali juga bagi masyarakat Melayu, mereka menggunakan 'pacar' sebagai salah satu cara berhias. Ini termasuk menjadikannya sebagai salah satu acara di dalam adat perkahwinan orang Melayu, samada bagi pengantin lelaki ataupun pengantin perempuan.

Bagi perempuan, hukum berinai atau 'bapacar' itu adakalanya sunat, adakalanya makruh, dan bahkan adakalanya haram. Perbezaan hukum ini nampak apabila dirujuk kepada keadaan serta status perempuan itu sama ada bersuami atau tidak. Selain itu, dirujuk juga kepada tujuan berinai atau bapacar itu.


Bagaimana pula bagi lelaki, terutama bagi mereka yang menjadi 'raja sehari'? Apakah hukum 'bapacar' bagi pengantin lelaki? Macam mana pula kalau inai atau 'pacar' itu digunakan pada uban atau janggut?

BERINAI ATAU 'BAPACAR' BAGI LELAKI

Adapun berinai atau 'bapacar' dengan daun inai atau sebagainya, pada dua tangan dan kaki, bagi kaum lelaki hukumnya adalah haram. Di antara dalil yang mengharamkan lelaki berinai atau 'bapacar' ialah hadis sahih yang diriwayatkan oleh Imam Bukhari dan Imam Muslim:





Maksudnya: "Daripada Anas dia berkata: "Bahawa Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam melarang kaum lelaki memakai za'faran (kuma-kuma)."

(Hadis riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim)

Za'faran (kuma-kuma) adalah sejenis daun tumbuh-tumbuhan yang mengeluarkan warna serta berbau harum.

Dilarang memakai za'faran (kuma-kuma) bagi lelaki adalah kerana warnanya bukan baunya, kerana memakai benda yang harum bagi lelaki adalah disunatkan. Daun inai itu sama seperti za'faran dari segi mengeluarkan warna dan bau.

Tambahan lagi, perbuatan berinai pada tangan dan kaki itu di dalamnya unsur-unsur menyerupai atau meniru-niru cara kaum wanita berhias. Haram hukumnya perbuatan meniru-niru atau menyerupai antara lelaki dan perempuan sebagaimana ditegaskan di dalam sebuah hadis sahih:




Maksudnya: "Daripada Ibnu 'Abbas Radhiallahu Anhuma beliau berkata: "Bahawa Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam melaknat kaum lelaki yang menyerupai atau meniru-niru kaum wanita dan kaum wanita yang menyerupai atau meniru-niru kaum lelaki."

(Hadis riwayat Bukhari)

Bagaimanapun jika sekiranya lelaki itu berinai atau 'bapacar' kerana ada keuzuran iaitu keperluan atau hajat untuk berubat, tidaklah diharamkan malahan tidaklah dimakruhkan ke atasnya untuk berinai.

Tersebut di dalam hadis yang diriwayatkan oleh Imam Abu Daud :





Maksudnya: "Daripada Salma khadam Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam dia berkata: "Tidak mengadu kepada Baginda Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam seseorang tentang sakit di kepala melainkan Baginda menyuruh orang itu supaya berbekam, dan tidak mengadu kepadanya seseorang tentang sakit di kakinya (pecah kulit) melainkan Baginda menyuruhnya supaya berinai."

(Hadis riwayat Abu Daud)

Merujuk kepada apa yang berlaku sekarang ini di tengah masyarakat kita, perbuatan berinai atau 'bapacar' bagi lelaki masih wujud walaupun ada di antaranya telah mengetahui tentang hukumnya, khasnya kepada pengantin lelaki pada majlis malam 'bapacar'. Berinai atau 'bapacar' bagi pengantin lelaki hukumnya tetap dilarang. Pengecualian daripada hukum tersebut hanya terbatas kepada keadaan jika ada keuzuran sahaja, iaitu bagi tujuan berubat, sebagaimana disebutkan terdahulu.

Secara umumnya berinai atau 'bapacar' bagi pengantin lelaki pada tangan dan kaki hanya merupakan adat semata-mata, tidak ada disyariatkan di dalam Islam.

BERINAI ATAU 'BAPACAR' PADA UBAN ATAU JANGGUT

Sunat berinai atau 'bapacar' dengan daun inai atau sebagainya pada uban dan janggut, dengan warna merah atau kuning bukan warna hitam. Perkara ini telah disepakati oleh ulama Syafi'e.

Di antara dalil yang menunjukkan sunat berinai atau 'bapacar' pada uban dan janggut, hadis Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam:




Maksudnya: "Daripada Abu Hurairah Radhiallahu Anhu katanya: "Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalam bersabda: "Orang-orang Yahudi dan Nasrani tidak mencelup (rambut dan janggut meraka), kerana itu buatlah kelainan daripada mereka."

(Hadis riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim)

Sementara itu dalil yang menunjukkan haram berinai atau 'bapacar' dengan warna hitam ialah hadis Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam yang diriwayatkan oleh Imam Bukhari dan Imam Muslim:





Maksudnya: "Daripada Jabir bin Abdullah katanya: "Pada hari penaklukan Mekah di bawa Abu Quhafah ke hadapan Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam dengan rambut dan janggutnya memutih seperti tsaghamah (sejenis tumbuhan bunga dan buahnya berwarna putih seperti putih uban). Maka bersabda Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam: "Celuplah (rambut dan janggut) kamu selain dengan warna hitam."

(Hadis riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim)



Di samping itu ada hadis lain yang menyebutkan akan amaran terhadap orang yang mewarnakan atau berinai dengan warna hitam sebagaimana sabda Baginda Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam daripada Ibnu 'Abbas Radhiallahu Anhuma:




Maksudnya: "Akan ada satu kumpulan orang berinai dengan warna hitam pada akhir zaman (seperti sekarang) seperti dada burung merpati yang hitam, mereka tidak dapat mencium bau syurga."

(Hadis riwayat Abu Daud, Nasa'i dan lain-lain)

Terdapat pengecualian daripada hukum haram berinai atau 'bapacar' dengan warna hitam itu di mana dibolehkan bagi lelaki berinai atau bapacar uban atau janggut, iaitu pada waktu peperangan supaya kelihatan muda dan perkasa bagi tujuan menggerunkan dan menakutkan musuh.

Au bah, banar2 jua sudah tu buat research ;) Butit's for our own good jua kan? sekadar sharing some infos... so yeah, us ladies, it's OK. :) Men, better nda lah yea...~

But why for us ladies bleh hukumnya, sunat, makruh and haram... it was said depending on a woman's status..

1. Haram - Women dalam Iddah
2. Sunat - Married Women (berlawa2 tuk laki)
3. Makruh - Ladies for tujuan saja2
4. Harus - tujuan perubatan

This Bride2Be is abit sakai learning all this new things... *lol* hoped it's rather informative to all! Catch with me soon yeh?

The Hantarans....

Right, time for reviewing checklist :

1. Borang Nikah - sent to Mahkamah Sya'riah (under process~)
2. Borang Kursus - on its way...
   
3. Baju(s) Pengantin - OK
   
4. Catering - OK..so far.. (Dad's handling it for me)
5. Campur - Mum's, #1 and #2's to handle
6. Room - moving out this Sunday, work commence Monday
7. Bedset - Bought! (tpi suruh simpan dlu arh warehouse)
8. Curtain & Carpeting - to be negotiated...
9. Photog - confirmed
10. Make-Up artist - confirmed
11. Invitation cards - like i said, that'll be tomorrow...
12. Hantarans - bought sudah.. tinggal menambah2 lgi if ada yg berkenan~ hehehe

That's half almost done *thumbsup* I have yet to consider the idea of decorating my hantarans myself (with the help of #1 and #2 ofcourse~) OR just send my stuffs for hantaran deco~ which is cheaper, perhaps?? Can anyone reckon?

I did try to buy meself a set of materials for 1 deco, macam costly kan~ I guess it depends on how you want your decorations to be... ALSO theme, the theme colour atu yg penting tu..!Once u've set the colour.. you can go for buying all the materials associated with the theme colour. Plenty to choose from but you have to get some infos on where you guys kan pinjam gangsa & lapik.

As for design, I have surfed on a few lawa-ness hantaran deco... there's just soooooo much style that you could go for, I'm like, creative jua bisdia ani!!? They either use fresh flowers, bunga stokin, bunga dip (dont knw y they called it 'dip'), crystals, gold or silver plated flowers or the basic one, bunga plastik! Hehehe :) That's just for flowers ey... in addition, you might wanna choose to use the silver / gold boxes, wooden trays, rattan boxes / baskets / trays or just merely the styling foam. Mana2 aja lh u wanna pick... :) Even me myself pun rambang mata lehnya... macam.. ntah lah! *sigh*

Here's one site that says it all, MERISIK GALLERY (Malaysiian though.. but it can give us some pointers kan?) Di Brunei, I cam across 2 local blogs specialising on hantarans so far... mayb ada lgi tpi blum kejumpahan. A few of the wedding boutiques in Brunei pun ada yg offer such services. So it's up to us. We could :

• rent dulang & lapik then deco sendiri
• rent dulang & lapik & accessories then deco sendiri
• rent dulang & lapik & buy accessories and deco elsewhere
• rent dulang & lapik & accessories + deco @ a particular shop
• rent dulang & accessories, buy lapik and deco @ shop
• rent dulang & accessories, buy lapik and deco sendiri ...

hmmmm now that's a lot of options... *lol* mana bisai?

thinking..

I was busy spring cleaning my office room yesterday with my staff when this very thought / idea came into my head. Macam... hmmmm~

I was thinking kan buat saja my invitation card here in Brunei rather than keluar g k KL bh.. for sure mbayar excess apa lgi tu, knowing I'm with my sister and yes, Mummy! So prolly, as discussed at AkadNikah.Com, mesti th scouting the places ni~ This would be the plans for Friday.. :) :) :) Being a helper for that site's chatbox really helps and I do get some pointers even.. so yah! My stops would most definitely be @

1. Ezy Printing, Jerudong
2. Nyuk Lian, Kiarong (they say it's near Fleur De Lyss)
3. JL, Menglait (sebarang Michelin... might go there since dear fiancé is servicing his car there this Friday)
4. the shop sebaris Ong marble (Beribi)

Hopefully ada yg berkenan nanti lah ah.. Dad adviced me not to go jua cos need to settle some stuffs here lgi~ *sigh*

Will update more soon...

Trip to K.L ~ booked

Yesterday, I booked my tickets to K.L. ... yes, will be flying sometime early May, after my cousin's wedding! Me, mummy and #1 lah yg pegi this time around. Not sure where we gonna stay nanti but I hope it's just somewhere @ Masjid India.

I've been struck by kusut-ness due to the invitation cards, yes, still! I hope the gal e-mailed me quick, I'd want my confirmation by end of this week. Then, since takut pisang berbuah dua kali, better I ask her to print a copy dlu, scan and emailed them to me.. need to make sure that it is readable this time around.... (#2's advice)

I bought my bed set dah last week during the Da Vinci Collection Charity Sale.. :) :) I kinda like the design so just immediately beli lah, and yesterday what did I found out? Arah one of the wedding pics I Surfed on to... sama ani wah furniture kami! *lol* But definitely will try to make mine look slightly different.. bila mendeco2 lah tu nanti ah?

Dad has confirmed with me to pacahkan dinding my room and extend sikit (kira close up my veranda) yes.. nda jua begunakan beranda atu.. so.. hrm, I sortof agree with that idea... meaning, have to move out from my room lah ni nanti... dudidudidudidu~ #2 has offered me to sleepover arh her room.. we'll see lah yea, but then again, I did that sometimes ..especially masa air-cond inda baik hehehehe so yeah, moving out from room - to be implemented! Dimana tah my cat tido ne? poor little guy...