preps, preps...

Preparations for the Nikah day has been *pheeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!* tiring.. hahaha it's like playing a jigsaw puzzle game... well, what more can u expect from a house filled with good 'ol memories of yesteryears~ Some stuffs we throw them away.. some, simpan dlm store.

My pelamin? I can't say much yet sal belum semua dorang deliver..prolly this afternoon. Dad's been pretty mad dh cos mcm malar dh betangguhkan dorg k rumah ani. *sigh* Alhamdulillah, good thing my nikah is not today...else abis ya!! Hah!! But then again, I would understand jua lh... it's busy everywher... so yeah, with that much labour and so many demands in a week.. bz jua kli tu ah~

Our wedding rings sudah we fetched yesterday~~ *sigh* Good thing my hubbby-to-be is keeping mine ..else hehe malar kli dh d pakai2 *lol* I've seen one quite like it, more or less the same lh.. but what the heck, sama kli timingnya kami k kadai atu bh... maybe~? Or maybe we have the same taste? *Alhamdulillah* As for baju for sanding, entah ah.. I've this feeling that something is amiss with that baju? (pre-wedding syndrome, perhaps?) macam.. ada rasa hati kn menukar pkai baju lain ani bh... hahahha marah jua my tailor tu krg *lol* Thing is baju Bebadak and Muleh 7.. I is alright~ but this one.... eeeeeeeeee... andangnya kali bah ah?

oh well... time to do some work, work, work!

Salam...

lalala...

AAaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! 4 days to go to our Nikah and I'm anxious, my dear fiancé nervous, everyone's nervous.. There's still lots of things to prepare, which is why me and tunang tercinta decided to fetch our hantaran & accessories for Nikah awal (Thursday ani) At least, Friday and Saturday atu bleh do all the last minute preparation.

Right about now, I'm waiting for the pelamin to arrive.. nervous? yes! jadikah today ani.. hahaha it's already 10.28a.m and no sign of them yet. Dearest Dad's been questioning me dari tadi 'What time will they come to fix your pelamin?' or dalam bahasa Brunei "Pukul brapa dorang dtg memasang pelamin mu ani??" ...Now he's gone off to Tutong town to buy some ingredients for dearest Mum's acar. Yes, THE signature dish of the family.. inda bleh tinggal ne~ not forgetting Kelupis and wajid (my dearest Wawa specialties!) Mummy msani lepak di kitchen merabus kulit limau... harum bau citrus rumah ani :) :) I don't know the updates on my sisters' side. As far as i know, goodies for the kids sudah dibali dorang (apa saja? that gue tak tau..).

Aaaanyways, yesterday i bought kain lining (the cheapest kain on sale) kan d buat utk decoration tangga. I actually bought jua earlier warna dark gold but hehe galap sulnya so I think I'm gonna combine them with cream.. been surfing online to get some ideas on stairway wedding deco.. macam2 jua lh kejumpahan.. but these are a few yg caught my interest...

simple but loving the flower deco

another one yg simple... bungasaja byk.. hmmm I knw ada bejual arh $1.80 ne bunga cemani ani..
di hotels bleh lah buat ani, but if ur house and families have quite a number of kids... jgntah the lilin atu kli eh

I like this one.. bleh DIY, and see how dorang tie the scallops nda payah pakai stapler and ribbons atu pun sanang buat DIY jua... hmmm will try to implement this one as it doesn't cover the railings *meets Dad's requirement*.. ofcourse, with a twist ;)

Operation menghias tangga will either be on Friday or Saturday, inda jua lama kli tu eh? Simple2 saja.. nda jua ramai org kn makai tangga atu..except my families and walauth inda berhias kli? Hahaha *we'll see, we'll see*

Aight then, I need to move some of my stuffs out frm my sister's room.. hehehe sorry sis~ banyak barang2 ku ani rupanya! *lol* Till nxt time peeps...

Salam~

:D

Rasulullah SAW dalam hadisnya bermaksud, "Perbaikilah wanita, kerana sesungguhnya wanita itu diciptakan dari tulang rusuk. Paling bengkoknya tulang rusuk itu adalah di bahagian atasnya. Jika meluruskannya terlalu keras., maka ia akan pecah. Dan jika dibiarkan, maka ia akan tetap bengkok. Maka perbaikilah wanita itu dengan cara yang baik.

Salam....

I love this look... but will it suit me???

My MuA suggested this look.. more or less like yg above but lighter..

but the nikah look would be somewhat like this...

Whichever yangg sesuai lah tu yea?? :) :) :) Mudahan saja semua berjalan dgn lancar next weekend *Amin*

Operasi Mengelupis is ON! Mum went to my aunt's place this morning to start doing the Kelupis, whereas me? Hehe I stayed at home menunggu dorang my sister and nephews datang, entertaining them with the Hidden Treasures games, C.S.Is and a movie, The Mummy 3. The 2nd session of mengelupis would be nxt Friday of which, I too need to collect my balasan hantaran(s), my wedding ring, accessories for the nikah event and veil.. cnfirm dub dab dub dab ni bila meliat brg2 atu ada dlm my room... *Ohhh Myyy!!*

I still need to find deco for my dressing table and bedside table, will probably go shopping tomorrow. Owh, oh.... BIG ANNOUNCEMENT TO ALLLLL!!! My long leave will start TOMORROW~ Yth bahagia ni.. and I still have things to clear off frm the living room, memasang2 carpet.. u know the drill...~ need to capture some photos ni for my record, kira kenangan behind the scenes lh tu *lol*

Speaking of photoshoots..I've seen soooo many wedding pics of late, mcm mikin nervous meliat cos nda lagi lama my turn kn kna gambar2 and I can tell, begambar biasa nda sama dgn begambar for weddings... *bitenails* Speak of which below is the list of the Wedding Must Shots as being put everywhere on Google:

1. Prep Shots - Bride & Groom
2. The Dress - Hanging or Draped
3. Bride walking down stairs
4. Bride looking out (window or door)
5. Flower girls
   
6. Pengangun / Mother helping out with the Dress
7. Bride Applying Make Up
8. Groom Fixing Hair
9. Groom wearing his songkok / dastar
10. Groom checking the Time
11. Groom with cousins / friends
12. Bride with cousins / friends
13. Bride with Mother & Father (also grandparents)
14. Groom with Mother & Father (also grandparents)
15. Groom’s Ride
16. Groom - Exiting Car
17. Bride walking towards the Pelamin ( Side Profile & Front )
18. Bride waiting at the Pelamin
19. House Wide Shot (with & without guests)
20. Groom over the shoulder shot of bride ( & Vice Versa)
21. Holding hands - Bride and Groom
22. Bride & Groom
23. Bride & Groom at the Verandah
24. Bride & Groom - Inside Car Shot (for Muleh 7)
25. Food Shots
26. Shot of each table full of guests
27. Shots of Bride & Groom with & without family
28. Bride and Groom Portraits
29. Bride & Groom with friends
30. Bride and Groom Hand & Ring Portraits
31. Bouquet
32. Cake Cutting, Bride and Groom Feeding each other
33. Bride & Groom Eating/Suap-suapan
34. Centerpieces & Flower/Decorations
35. Small Children Portraits
36. Venetian Hour Photos
37. Bride & Groom in their bedroom

Oh, is it me or banyak orang pakai red and brown lately? I think it's me saja kali owh?? As I would say to my dear fiancé... symptom2 kan dkt kawin, baju orang kan sama mcm diri, banyak yg lagi lawa tia, mau itulah inilah.... *sigh* dugaan, dugaan~ And yes, I'm still nervous with the pelamin ani.. cemanakah usulnya nanti...~

*prays*

It's Friday, 24.07, and today will be another busy day...

The progress for house spring cleaning is 80%. Dad said we need to empty up the living room before next week.. banyak lgi masa, lgipun next week start cuti~~~ And OMG!!!! Wednesday next week jua dorang memasang pelamin!!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh.. It's gonna be next week ppl!! 1 week, 2 days til I'm officially his wife!! *gasp*Now I'm nervous, not nervous pasal Nikah, nervous on how the pelamin looks, so far... when attending weddings, Mum kebisaian the 2nd pelamin pic I posted... and then my sisters pun sama juanya, the recent wedding they attended pun dorang kelawaan the pelamin which is.. yeh, the same pelamin yg mummy suka!! :s

I'm like, uhhh... I wanted to rent that one but I somehow inda jadi, and thank God I didnt cos, dear fiancé's sister pun pakai that pelamin last time... indakan balik2 sama pelamin?? (kes menyamankan hati ni.. padahal takut kena kritik abis2an.. esp. th Mummy.. *nervous*nervous*) But insya-Allah, ok Mama ni... *Amin*

So last week too, me and the fam decided to pack the doorgifts for Sanding day (au wah, last time ckp time mlm after berbedak session? *lol*) And I was deeply touched by my little nephews and nieces who willingly participated in helping us out. Mun sampai, by the time my aunties came to the house to lend their extra hand... almost kn siap th ya udah! *lol* Mind you the little fruitees are just 4-8 yrs of age..dua org sja yg above 10... such sweet little kids, end of the session Dad rized them with Paddle-Pop sticks, nyaman jua lapas bekeraja tungkus lumus atu!

Me : Waaahhh, rajin jua semua mau help Uncu ani? Tadi semua do all the packing now angkat2 kotak ya jua?

Nephew D : Mm-hmm, pasal tadi ***** nda byk tolong..

Nephew A & B : Kami strong kali ah!

Niece B : And pasal kami semua sayang Uncu, yth kami help Uncu... *hugs*

Niece C : Aku nda dpt tolong angkat pasal masih small :D

I was deeply touched by the statement made by niece B.. kan nangis saja inda bh mendgr she said like that... Awwwwwww~~~

Meanwhile my sisters were doing a very tedious job of cleaning the TV/family area upstairs... kesian them, but Alhamdulillah.. the place is now cleared! *double thumbs up* Kamu memang steady!! ;) Oh my, it's already 8a.m and I need to do some work by 11a.m. Phew~ Til next time ppl, nah! my dad mengatuk pintu th ya udah.. eeeeeee mbari tekajut saja bah! Mestikah d bang nya kuat2? *sigh* Insya-Allah will update soon lgi yeah?

Salam..

Brown

Salam ladies and gents,

Another collection of theme that I have actually thought of, but inda implement.. This time around, it's BROWN!!

My senior's (CN) Pelaminan

Pelamin by Nas Great Ideas.. super hawwtt!!

a simple brown deco by Creative Elements

a gold brown tiered cake

VIP Tent with brown deco

brown and ivory deco for wedding reception

cute no?

the cake looks nyummy!

brown hard cover invitation card..

brown and gold doorgifts cone boxes (suitable for small hanky, pot pouri or if mau style traditional, simpan dlmnya bunga rampai)

another example of a brown invitation card

As for baju?? Yang songket, everyone may refer to UcingItam.com , CandidSYNDROME Brunei for sanding attire. But I personally like this one.. suitable for Ambil2an / Muleh 7

but to have a long brown labucci gown (heavy satin) custom tailored to suit your needs would be ..stunning for a hotel/ballroom reception

To that special someone....

HAPPY HAPPY HAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY HUBBY-TO-BE !!!! Apart from all the little gifts I gave you, my dear self would be the most important gift. The upcoming life that we will both share together would be the most appreciated gift one could ever have. I love you with all my heart and thank you sayang, for everything... and I mean it, really! Can't wait for the day to come... 2 weeks and 2 days *sigh*

no title for this one...

Cuti.. Work.. Cuti..Work.. Cuti, Cuti.. Work, Work, Work.. Cuti.. Work..CUUUUTTTIIIII!! Hahaha awu lai~~ nda lagi sabar ni kan hols :) :) :) :) Me and Dear fiancé have been counting the days for our Nikah. Nervous? Yes!!

Supposedly kan rilex2 saja today cos I have rescheduled myself for a busy spring cleaning at home kicking off this weekend. Dearest Mummy has been veerrryy busy memindah2 her flower pots supaya sanang simpan kem nanti (terlampau byk bunga bah~) Yes, Mum is bonkers dengan activity memelihara bunga-bungaan but I would say it's a good exercise for her nonetheless. :D Keep it up Mummy!!

So far.. my preps tinggal implementation saja lagi. My room needs a small rug to compliment the look, as well as a proper door mat (all this while pakai labih2an carpet saja... biasa~). The stair case deco...decided to do the works myself within the allocated budget for tempahan.. Double thumbs up if i can pull this off. Date to do decorations... 01.08.2009 ( so brg2 mesti semua ada before that day...) To decorate an old fashion staircase.. cana ah? I want them simple saja from cheap materials but yet still can look so elegant.. see lah how the outcome nanti.. :D :D

Other than that, doorgifts packaging for orang membadaki, malam Berbedak guests and Dzikir sudah siap dilaksanakan. 3/4 of which andang hajat mummy.. so it's from her own expenses. My idea was taken into consideration for the guests only (initial idea for Sanding doorgifts actually) but ofcourse size sja ikut selera Mummy... Me and the family have yet to do packaging for Sanding doorgifts (after Majlis Malam Berbedak pslnya nda tau mana kn menyimpan if d pack awal2) and Nikah doorgifts (ani my sister punya bahagian ne.. hehe). Since it's in the form of food kan.. so biar lambat2 lh bsai asal sanggup bergotong royong malam2 atu.. hehe

Right about now.. I'm staring at my wardrobe for the 3 bajus to be used for my events.. *sigh* Malam tadi was testing out my flipflops and sandals (bought at ShoeLovers at such a very cheap price.. hehehe but still lawa.. although I am considering the idea of my dear sisters kan pakai kasut turun temurun atu... hmmm we'll see, we'll see... I can't waiiiiittttttttttttt!!!!!

Oh btw~~ Surat Kebenaran Nikah for dear fiancé sudah me ambil from the Syariah Court yesterday (yes, the kebenaran will only be out 2 weeks before nikah) This is required for Jurunikah nanti. We need...

• Copies of chopped (fully attended) pre-Nikah course attendance sheets
• Copies of Receipts (payment upon submission of Borang Kebenaran Nikah @ Syariah Courts)
• Copies of I/C
• Copies of Birth Certs

.... all of which must be attached with this Surat Kebenaran and d bawa k Pejabat Ugama where the bride (me) register for my application..and then baru th kna bagi tue Borang 4 (Borang for Jurunikah)~ Let me summarise for all..

1. Acquiring Borang Kebenaran Nikah from Syariah Court (Declaration letters from respective Ketua Kg, signatures of Wali (bride) and the 2 Saksi with address and I/C no.)
   
2. Submit the forms and make payments upon submission ($10/person),
3. Register for Kursus Nikah and acquire the attendance sheet (mesti d bawa everytime and pay $4 for the Nikah course Book,
4. Upon completion of Kursus, copies of the attendance should be made for the above purpose,
5. Surat kebenaran Nikah (released by the Syariah Court ~2 wks before Nikah)
   
6. Acquire Borang 4 ... Pass to Jurunikah (get ready with $30 for this) He will handle the rest..
   
7. Solemnization ceremony (Sign the Borang 4).. oh yes, Groom jangan lupa bawa I/C time nikah ah.. some Jurunikah suka tu meniaya pasal I/C ani.. some even mean it!
   
8. Submit original copies of course attendance sheets, signed Nikah form annnd then baru tah ada kna keluarkan Sijil Kahwin

8 steps yo!!! Banyak jua ah... ??? Two weeks and 4 days to go.. and I'm yours~~

"Diantara tanda-tanda kekuasaan Allah ialah Dia menciptakan untukmu isteri-isteri dari jenismu sendiri, supaya kamu cenderung dan merasa tenteram kepadanya, dan dijadikan-Nya di antara kamu rasa kasih dan sayang. (Ar-Rum 21)

Daulat Kebawah Duli Tuan Patik

Picture copied from ShimWorld.Com

Today marks the BIG day for His Majesty, our Sultan. It's his 63rd birthday and Alhamdulillah, his previous 2 Titah from yesterday and the day before was very inspiring! :)

Dipanjatkan doa agar Negara Brunei Darussalam sentiasa aman dan sejahtera dibawah naungan Kebawah Duli Tuan Patik *Amin Ya Rabbal 'Alamin*

ramble, ramble

Salam...

3 weeks before my Nikah, 2 weeks before I finally start my holiday and only 8 working days to finish up my work before I passed them on to the officer yg memangku.. YES, 8 days and I hoped to get the matters done ASAP so that I can have my holiday in peace! Nada siuk tu mun sibuk2 jua nguruskan finishing touches for my wedding and at the very same time sibuk th jua orang office menepon hal itu ini. BUt then again, can't escape as well cos to escape is to run away from your responsibility and yes, I am still responsibile for every actions of my work regardless me being on hols... (that's normal kan?)

I can't really say whether or not me and my soon-to-be husband will be going off someplace for a short honeymoon. The Swine Flu is abit worrying and yeah, I rather not go to any countries cos I reaaaaaaaaally, really, reaaaaally don't want to get myself quarantined! Jaaadinyaaa, KNK saja lah.... kumpul duit lagi then prolly sometime next yr th we go holiday-ing to someplace romantic *winks*

As mentioned earlier, we've had our hantaran(s) sent over for decoration dh~ Can't wait for the outcome!!! For sure lawa tu... *insyaAllah* Aunty Hjh has been really nice to us that we spent almost an hour at her boutique becerita2. It was a nostalgic moment for her, I bet she never expected that she would be seeing two of her long lost friends' children tying their knot. I saw the look in her eyes, it was pure grace. Aunty Hjh even said to us, "bila kamu mengaga barang 2 kamu nanti bawa Mama kamu ah.. rindu aunty kan dorang..." I was deeply touched. Will do, Aunty.. will do. Hopefully jua our Mums available that day. :D

I understand I did quite a lot of photoblogging lately rather than my rants. Hehehe. My apologies. But as for now, I'm busy with my work @ workplace... and yes, the invitation card is out sudah for the staffs kat office. Glad I did the scrolls thingy cos senang they all simpan arh their notice boards :D To my unit, kamu nanti sja I print out the scrolls ah... last day of work me bagi hehehe :P~

Until the next entry.. Salam~

Jumaat

*Phew!*

I'm totally knackered and yes, I hope this explains my absence for today. As usual, *Alhamdulillah* another successful Friday!! Our progress are as follows :

1. Rental of Pelamin (+ lapik Nikah, dian 4, tempat bedak 7) - confirmed
   
2. Rental of Tiara Sets (Nikah & Sanding) - confirmed
   
3. Rental of Berbedak Accessories & Baju Sanding - confirmed
   
4. Rental of Sinjang & Dastar (Ziarah & Muleh 7) - confirmed
   
5. Wedding Ring - paid
   
6. Hantarans - confirmed theme and sent for decoration (at least off our chest sudah hehehe though I had to rent extra lapiks due to yeah.. extras for food~)
   
7. Bridal bouquet & driveway deco - confirmed
   
8. House deco (interior) - I'm thinking.... self decoration?? should be alright no?? Dear fiancé pun mbagi dh kata2 semangat :P~ We'll see.. my sis dlu ya sendiri jua.. so should implement the same jua..
   
9. Bedsheets for dear fiancé's room - bought! *hee~*
   
10. Invitation cards for the office - *Insya-Allah* will distribute tomorrow.. moment of truth!! Haha

Speaking of invitations, I got into my creative mode yesterday and had this craaayzeeyyy idea of printing out my invitation cards on A4 size paper for the office peeps. Tau lah, quite a no. of sections kn d invite and I can't afford to give each of them invitation cards.. SooOooo, since there was this idea of having a 'scroll' invitation card last time, why not implementkan saja tia for this one (menyampaikan hajat) apa jua ganya 5-10 copies saja kan??? So each unit gets 1 scroll hehehe tpi mau jua presentable sulnya... nda? Hence, I bought...

...gold hotstamped papers $3.50 (10pcs)... ribbons $1.20/roll

Printed these on... :D Printer kureng memuaskan BUT lawa still~~

and voila~ got the 'scrolls'

Insya-Allah will get all of these sorted out tomorrow.. *yay* At least now I can concentrate more on my office works before I start my holiday... :) :) ;) Will do a proper update in a few days time, I'm sleepy.. need my beauty zZzzzzzz~

Nyt2 all and Salam~

o.r.a.n.g.e.

Who would've thought that one can ever pull off an orange wedding???? I love the colour scheme for these~... I would be daring enough to implement such a theme but it takes two to tango and ... no approval for this one.. *sigh*

Cute the pearls ah~

doorgifts..bleh simpan keychains or cuppies inside

arch for the door..

orange lace.. I hav yet to look for a pic of orange songket!

flower deco

table deco

orange pelamiiinnn!! nice ey?

today..

4 weeks & 2 days.... *heartbeats*

Yet another successful Friday *yay* I was thankful though I had to actually cancel my morning appointment for a reason. Managed to pass some of my invitation cards to my dear Uni junior (she'll pass on to the rest of the gals & guys lagi), they've always been there for me and this is my only way to thank them all.... :) Thank you all~ Datang ah to my wedding!

I'm sure this may come to a shock for some of them... yes, ME, getting married!!! Everyone's happy for me though... Alhamdulillah~ I remember few months ago when one of them asked me...

J : "Eh lai, let me see your hand!"

Me : *blur and show her my hands*

L : "Nah see cincin ah.... betunang ko udah kh???"

Me : Hehehe... apa sulnya??

J : "Eeee banar kh nda c banar ani... mua mu ani payah sikit kn pecaya.. mun banar ALHAMDULILLAH!!!"

L : "Au eh.. ko selalu kai cincin arh kelingking saja.. jrg arh jari manis"

Me : *lol* yth kamu atu nah... nda jua salah makai cincin d jari manis (trying to confuse them lagi) Lawa bh cincin ani d pakai d jari manis.. nda?? Murah ganya mo time sale aritu ku mbali...

L : "Issshh banar2 bah eh.. bedusa ko if ko nda mengakun!"

Me : *julursss* kan kahwin th ku jua ni pretty soon... *buat muka selamba* tunggu saja lagurnya nanti ah~~~ *giggles*

L : "Hmmmmm....."

J : "Alum th ku kn pecaya tu mukanya cematu atu....ketawanya lagi "

*toing*

It was good to make them oh-so-confused time atu... hehehe ah well, hope to see them nanti in August.. *winks* JANGAN NADA!!!

Back to the preps.. had a trial with the M.U.A last Tuesday. Phewww.. ilang nervoooouuuusss! Haha we only did the trial for nikah, the rest? Samples of shadow colours saja~ Lawa!! Dear fiancé kononnya kn meliat the finished make-up work arh LIVE webcam tapi ntah knapakh MSN beproblem msatu... ya suruh liat time Nikah saja tu sayang, dapan2 lgi best tau.. But I snapped a few shots so I just showed him the pics saja and really glad that he loves them as well... Alhamdulillah~

Another good news would be, the Sanding attire. Decided to drop by at the bridal boutique this p.m and what do u know?? The baju is ready for fitting *waaaaaahhh!!!* APA lagiiiii?!?! Had our fitting lah tadi.. simply gorgeous!!! A slight alteration and the dress will be good for next month *thumbsup* Dear fiancé is abit cautious with his attire.. nampak mcm ia damit or so he claimed. Maybe the coat atu abit big kli? Tpi masa him fitting tadi.. ok jua usulnya~ I'd say his Dastar plang yg make him look small atu.. krg th liat the pics lgi. Iski our tailor trus..siap ambil camera and gambar2 lgi *lol* funny bunch dorg atu! Next fitting session will be end of this month (moment of truth tuuu...! OMG) I have chosen the set of tiaras that matches with my baju sanding..but I have yet to reconfirm the rental for my tiara sets utk nikah and muleh 7 as well as the Traditional Bebadak accessories set..

*wow* Nda lagi lama jdi Princess Amidala ni!! *iskiness*

I have forwarded my leave application yesterday. Mesti kna approve tu.. nda bleh nda!! I'll go on strike if they don't sign the form!! Aisey mcm berani saja *lol* But insya-Allah, they sign tu... *Amin*

More things to do would be :

1. Confirm house decorations
2. To decide either to custom-made/rent tudong for Nikah and Muleh 7
3. get the final items for my balasan hantarans
   
4. Move the rest of my stuffs back into my room
5. Give my cat his well-deserved grooming session
6. Distribute my invitation cards (for office) by mid of this month
7. send over my balasans for deco
   
8. Empty out the living room
9. Spring cleaning the whooooooooleeee house!
10. try to concentrate with my office work
11. get my car road tax and insurance re-newed, and..
12. get enough rest daily!

Until the next entry~ Another looooooooooonngg day at work tomorrow *sigh* Think i should add #13 - concentrate with office works *angelface* Hahaha..!! Oh yes, final update!!! My curtains and bedsheet siap already~ It will be fixed this 20.07 (cuti Isra' Mekraj) .. Insya-Allah~ ..haaa~ now I can say, Until the next entry ppl..!! *hugs*

Save Your Marriage (frm an e-mail)

To those who are married… Not married… and soon to be married

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I don’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.

The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions : she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions… She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously, I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind… I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head.

Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until deaths do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - DEAD.