The Proposal - Part IV

Salam all… sorry for my delay..

A proposal is merely a proposal, though some of us would most definitely dream of those kinds they do in the movies. BUT then again we’ve seen ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’, Will Turner proposed to Elizabeth when fighting Davy Jones’ pirates, Monica from Friends was the one who proposed to Chandler *lol* and like some other movies it’ll be like out for a candle-light dinner or just simply some place romantic, the ring in the cake…or the fruit salad, bending on one knee.. else, on billboard screen bla bla a sky banner.. hrm macam2 lh… I know some Bruneians do go the extend of bending on one knee but mostly would just simply said,


“Babe, we’ve been together for quite a some time... I wanna know where this relationship is heading?” normally ani us girls lh ah yg tanya heheehhe

OR

since tani ani jenis yg main bunga2 lgi… the case wud be after attending our friends’ wedding..

“Sayang, lawa baju c Girl atu ah… klu my wedding nanti Me mo this colour eh…”

now ofcourse to some Men yg ready dh, they’d say..

“You’d definitely look beautiful tu nanti sayang… I’ve been thinkg jua…”

Boh.. and here comes the questn

“We’ve been 2gether quite a while… mo you if my parents dtg ke rumah you..”

OR initiative from our parents haha like my mum said on my last 24th birthday

“Lai, 24 sudah ni… blum ada plan kan kawin kah?” *kweng, kweng, kweng.. malu I~* and as said in ‘The Proposal’ entry, me and dear fiancé were merely talking abt room renovations… and he just spontaneously said, “bah kawin tani?” *butterflies in the tummy* thought he was kidding, me jwb saja “bah, jom!” *lol* but then he sounded very serious so I asked "banarkh?" rupanya BANAR! oh my..... *blush*

We then continued on talking about when to tell our parents about it, when we want our wedding to be bla bla bla.. banar I was really excited that time...! Though he apologized for not proposing me in a proper way as it was just spontaneous, but to me it's the thought that counts cos ya cakap spontaneously... meaning it's been playing in his head sudah for quite a sometime...kan, kan, kan??? ;) *cute*

So yeah, bab-bab cemani ani… regardless of generations, we’re Malays and Muslims kan so it has to be with tata-tertib. Firstly with wakil from pihak lelaki (normally the parents lh tu) datang ke rumah tani to ‘risik-risik’ … I remember my sis ckp my mum had her panic button ON when receiving a call from dear fiancé’s mummy as they informed kan dtg k rumah *lol* kesian eh… Yth bz dorang getting ready with the permintaan(s) and setting up the date for tunang.

Merisik-risik ani just to actually tell the bride’s parents that a guy (our boyfie) is interested to take their daughter’s hand in marriage. Kalau ok… then dorang proceed with discussions for the dates (tunang/nikah/sanding) and also whether or not durang mau just a simplified one kh apa. Atu rundingan parents, their approach pun ntah cemana kah hehehe but we have to highlight it to them lah apa yg we want… I’m sure they’ll be open about it (I hope) though some parents can get abit stingy and mau mengamalkan durg punya tradition atu bnr2…then that, mesti th buat rundingan terperinci tu. Jawapan from the bride’s parents (mine as well) was not told immediately, pa and ma told them they’ll need a week to give their answer..padahal agree jua sudah tu... Sekali, without me knowing until the eve b4 the actual day, my parents decide kan ke rumah durg (membalas pantun~ as my sisters called it.. but as us Bruneians cakap, ‘BEDUDUN~’) to give answers and confirmation.

As I’ve said before, practice dlu2 betunang ani trus th membagi hantaran apa.. kira rombongan meminang mcm dlm filem Musang Berjanggut or rombongan meminang Hj. Bakhil in Labu Labi.. hehe~ yes, I’m into P.Ramlee’s movies.. selected ones

Our engagement ceremony was a simple one, our parents decided to do the hantaran bit during nikah nanti…hence it’s just rombongan dear fiancé family ke rumah untuk meminang me~ Then, once the discussion and negotiation’s settled, me kna panggil and kna sarungi cincin leh Aunty (dear fiancé’s mummy). Some ladies opted to dress up for this particular function, me? Dress up biasa2 saja… baju kurung n tudung, powder sikit, eye-liner n lip gloss pun sudah ok. Up to u gals 2 decide. Cali jua rasanya lh duduk in the middle of the room surrounded by the elderly ladies, eyes glaring at you from head to toe.. mcm… I’m like screaming HOMAIGAAATTTTTTT!! dlm hati.

During the ‘menerima pinangan’ session, my father appointed my Nini as a spoke person. Katanya, pihak lelaki mesti lurus tu menyabut siapa bini2 kan dipinang and siapa nama lelaki yg meminang ani…mun salah, salah tah tu….(aiii kejamkan!!) but I’m sure my Dad’s just meniaya me and besides, rombongan dear fiancé bawa booklet kli ah~ hehehe so yeah, like mentioned earlier once betunang, HARAM for other guys to pinang us..

Digalakkan dalam Islam jua jangan hold the tunang status batah2 cos anything can happen in between the time of tunang and nikah. The devil will kacau semampunya. Apa2pun, if it’s concerning budget…there’s no harm in having the tunang, nikah and sanding session all in 1 day (close families and friends dijemput pun ok jua sudah tu bh... ) Inda salah bernikah makai songket, di sunatkan saja memakai warna putih.

Oh that reminds me, had my bju nikah fitting session haritu.. I like~~ hehehe

Until then peeps… mcm panjang dh my story ani… *lol*